For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate.
During my morning prayer to kick off my workday, (which also hasn't been happening like I want) I prayed about this, and these thoughts came to me, which I wanted to write down. Hence this post.
How do I do what I would like to do, rather than what I hate? First I have to indeed want to hate it. At the moment, I don't want to hate getting irritated by other people. I'm enjoying getting irritated and feeling superior. That's my flesh talking. So this morning, first I prayed that God help me extend the grace he's given me. But then I realized that I don't really want to extend it. So I changed my prayer to ask Him to get me to WANT to extend the grace. I do WANT to want to show grace. So that must be my regenerated spirit. Without a regenerate spirit, with Christ's life in me, I wouldn't be indwelt by the Holy Spirit, so I couldn't want anything other than to satisfy my flesh. So I think I'm on the right track today: at the very start of a potentially long track, but the right track at least.
I close with this famous passage from 1Cor 13:4-7 NASB
Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
I appreciate your honesty and devotion to write this down and share it, Eric. This was a fantastic post and I am encouraged to see you flashing the ol’ pan again! Keep it up, bro!
ReplyDeleteAfter much reflection on your article, you’ve inspired me to share on this subject too…
Thanks to Paul the Apostle, you and I can know that even as beloved, we still deal with sin. Possibly one of the greatest revelations given to me in Romans 7:20 is, “Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but sin living in me that does it”. So, while we are in these fleshly vessels, sin is going to appeal to the sinful/flesh nature… but we have within us the Holy Spirit which will discern, and convict, and guide, and adjust us to do the God-honoring thing. As long as we yield to the Spirit and not to the earthly ways of dealing with our issues, we will live out who we are now in Christ (as opposed to pretending that we are not). So, what you explained is the spiritual warfare that us whom are earthborne believers are going to deal with until the day we expire our terms on earth v1.0. 😊
I have had some hate boil up from time to time as a believer too. The point things get better is when we turn our hearts to God for control, not to our own feeling-driven desires.
I, like you, have found myself at times not feeling at all like forfeiting my drive to satisfy the flesh on multiple occasions. When I am stubborn like that, I am yielding to the flesh, and nothing good can ever come out of that. I have found some scripture that resonates with this reluctant heart…
Psalms 51:10 – “Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” I think echoing David as we realize the shortcomings of our flesh and the utter wrongness of our human-being, and then submitting to God for an exchange for His ways is the best advice a man dealt with sin can ask for. Then I would follow up by recalling Psalms 73:26 – “My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever”. We are finite and imperfect beings. When we realize that and refer to God where we fall so short of Him, we will see “for when I am weak, He is strong”. We need Jesus not only to be saved, but to live out our salvation!
I had a dream not too long ago… I was dealing with some anger in my heart, and the dream that I had was me committing an act of hate that I would never do. This was an embodiment of the sin having no good outcome and ultimately leading my heart down a wicked path. While I would never do it, because I hated what I was doing and knew it was wrong, my flesh still wanted to bask in the satisfaction of its gratification. I grieved the outcome of the dream, gave thanks to God for the vision, and repented of the sin that was against God. Flesh went unsatisfied, though I believe the Spirit was well pleased… and that is what is important and honorable to God.
One last thing I have to recall when I forget so many times and start falling towards the flesh route. The very desires I have to sin is what God sent His beloved & perfect Son to die for. While we were rebels against Him, He loved us despite that, and has given us grace to be with Him in eternity! The price at which we were bought is truly something we could never repay, and for that, I owe my Lord the utmost surrender.
Create in me a pure heart, O God... indeed! Thanks for the thoughtful response. It's easily as good as the original post. The dream sequence is really interesting. That would be troubling to wake up from that! Praise God that He will give us the desires of our heart, if only we delight in Him! (Psalm 37)
ReplyDelete